Optimist:   "The glass is half full."

Pessimist:   "The glass is half empty."

Futurist:   "The milk's in the wrong half of the glass."

Pascal programmers:   "Well, what type of milk is it?"

C Programmers:   "No thanks; I drink straight from the jug."

Assembly programmers:   "No thanks; I drink straight from the cow."

Basic programmers:   "No thanks; I'm still breast feeding."

MIS:   "I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR."

Fuzzy logic guys:   "I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk."

Prolog programmers:   "I know I drank it - just don't ask me how."

Non-procedural language programmers:  " I drank it when nobody was looking."

UI designers:   "What's that crap in my glass?"

Pentium users:   "I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that."

Windows users:   "Where's my straw?"

Mac users:   "Where's my pump?"

UNIX users:   "Nahh . . . too easy."